why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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