I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize