Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Come share oat with me in your robe
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize