i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
