I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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