It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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