what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
