It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
