I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
