Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
