I wish I could punch you in the face.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have already put on my inside pants.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
