Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
