haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
