Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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