Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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