Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize
