Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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