I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
