Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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