just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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