The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You made out with two different species that night
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
