I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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