wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
