Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
