Whod you bang
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
