U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
