everyone is single if you try hard enough
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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