You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
