god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
