i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
