Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
