My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
