This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize