I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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