I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
