Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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