Duck Duck Cougar?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
