Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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