I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Where are you guys?
Drunk
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
