Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
