I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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