i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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