So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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