That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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