i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
