yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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