just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
