After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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