So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
