Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
