The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
