I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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