Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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