there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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