How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize