That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
this boner is exhausting
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
