i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
