it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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