im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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