Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
