I think im going to throw up on grandma
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
