You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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