youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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