I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
